A Poets View

Photo courtesy of www.wishtank.org

I was angry with my friend
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe,
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

William Blake (1757 -1827) From the poem A Poison Tree

I love William Blake’s writings.  They are simplistic in their words and structure yet complex in meaning.

Communication is the key to any relationship whether it be family, friends or acquaintances.  As humans when we are angered by someone we tend to either let it stew around for a while thus causing us undue hardship and stress or we lash out which may unleash the stress but causes great strife.  I have always been the type to carry it around and be silent, however I’ve learned that, that particular approach makes the situation worse.  We need to learn to communicate our feelings to those around us.  Once you’ve learned to do this you’ll be surprised how easy it is to shed those angry feelings.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. When you find yourself in the middle of a “silent treatment” make the first move by asking if you can just talk about the situation without any judgment.  When judgment is shed the situation will be resolved in a heartbeat.

2. Your opening statement should begin with “I feel.”  Let the person know how you feel and also let them know you want them to express their feelings whether good or bad.

3. Being in a “no talking” state is simply childlike and ridiculous.  Only communication can solve problems.

4. Never go to bed angry.  My Mom always used to quote this and she was right.

5. Be open and honest.  These are the two essential keys to good communication.

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