Mar 04 2009
Choices
Photo courtesy of ABC
For the purpose of this post I am using the Bachelor as an example of the points I want to make about choices. I also want to express that this post is not about judging in any way but it is about the choices we make and the differences between choosing with our heads versus our hearts.
It was clear to me during the end of this show that Jason clearly had feelings for both women. With Melissa, as he frequently stated, she was very loving towards him and he knew she would make a great stepmother to Ty. With Molly, he had fun and also mentioned many times that when he looked into her eyes “she had him.”
Let’s take both scenarios. Melissa is the perfect example of making a choice from your head. She was good on paper and he wanted that for his family. Molly is the perfect example of making a choice from the heart. She was fun and when he looked in her eyes he melted. That is a typical feeling from the heart.
Your head is directed by your ego and not your heart. You look at the practicality of the situation and base your choice on logical reasoning. Your heart is your spirit. It is the true you. When you make choices from your heart, you are inevitably going to be happy.
The Bachelor was faced with a horrible tug of war scenario with his head fighting his heart. It was obvious to me when he initially let Molly go that he made the wrong decision because he did not listen to his heart.
Another point I’d like to make is asking for opinions on this type of life altering situation is never a good idea. When he had alone time with his Mother and was clearly torn over this, she told him that Molly was a “career girl” and that he had to take that under consideration. I would think as a Mother her advice would have been to tell him she would support him in his decision and that he should listen to his heart. I’m sure her opinion weighed heavily on his mind. Then he talks with Deanna who tells him that she went with her heart when choosing Jessie and it didn’t work out. He obviously listened to both of them.
Whenever you are faced with a decision - listen to your heart and don’t allow other people to guide you in another direction based on their opinions and observations.
Bottom line he listened to his head. He merely made a mistake. He seems to me the type of guy who normally goes with what his head is telling him.
Now we all know that after the show his relationship with Melissa did not go well which does not surprise me because again, he did not listen to that heart. He kept thinking of Molly and eventually ended up with her. One thing I would like to comment on is the After The Final Rose show. I really don’t know whether or not the whole thing was staged to get better ratings for ABC or if everyone involved did not know what was going on. In either case it really doesn’t matter because Jason chose to breakup with Melissa on nationwide TV. Whether staged or not that decision was clearly ego driven and the worst decision he could have ever made. If it was not staged then I feel he has some deep soul searching to do. He had a choice here as well and could have handled the breakup as a private matter yet allowed the whole country to see Melissa devastated.
So, in closing just remember that when making choices ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.
I have never watched “The Bachelor” before but, somehow, I happened to tune in at the start of Jason’s sojourn…okay, nice looking men have been known to turn my head and I admit I have a fondness for children. I found myself looking forward to every episode, all the while thinking how wierd it must be to form a relationship in front of millions of viewers. Weekly, I grew fonder of certain girls and felt sadness as my favorite was eliminated. Then we were in the spectacular beauty of New Zealand for the finale. I thought Jason had gone with his heart in choosing Melissa - I think one must use both a combination of HEAD and HEART in a choice of a life partner - maybe that’s why I’ve been such a miserable failure. I tend to use my heart for everything. That hasn’t done very well by me.
I certainly don’t think Jason should have remained with Melissa when he found it was truly Molly he loved. I wish he and Molly well. I think it is sad, however, that another young lady had to suffer her hurt publicly for our viewing pleasure - regardless of what contracts were signed and the amount of money exchanged. I guess I still am a bit of a romantic and wish some things were a little private.
Ratty - Yes, I think it should be the main factor.
Carmen - Jason went with his head when he chose Melissa and that was the problem. Going with your heart is always the right thing to do. Thanks for commenting.